There are many things that people avoid in life and
confrontation is typically one of them. Few people enjoy dealing with even the
smallest issues and many steer clear of any type of confrontation whatsoever.
Though it may seem wise to avoid an altercation, unsolved problems can damage
or destroy personal or professional relationships. Confrontation may be
uncomfortable for most people but it is also necessary. By turning it into a
skill, it can be used to your advantage.
The reason that most confrontational situations end badly is
because the motives behind them are wrong. This leads the situation to be more
harmful than helpful. The experience of past confrontations gone awry leads many
people to fear future ones. Ironically, this can create an even more explosive
situation because the conflict is allowed to fester for weeks, months, or even
years. By mastering the skill of confrontation, anyone can turn the
uncomfortable situation into a productive meeting.
Before confronting someone, recognize that the goals should
be restoring the relationship and establishing a foundation for working
together in the future. A confrontation should never consist of listing
everything the other person has done wrong or smearing his or her name. Both
parties usually have the same goals in their personal and professional relationships
so keep these in mind throughout the conversation.
If you think you are afraid to confront someone about an
issue, you know how that person is probably feeling about confronting you. Make
a decision to forgive before beginning the conversation and start by stating
that you do not have any anger. If the person being confronted is on the
defensive from the start, the conversation will probably turn into a mutual
attack, which never leads to a positive outcome.
Say something nice about the person to establish an
encouraging atmosphere. Point out that a coworker is a valuable asset or a
partner is a caring and contributing member of the household. Be honest and
mention specific strengths that the person possesses. Do not put all the
responsibility on this person for the conflict that arose. Own up to your part
in the situation and request forgiveness for your role in making things go off
track.
This part of the conversation is when things can get
difficult. Discuss the conflict and request input regarding its resolution. Ask
what you can do to make things better. In some cases, clearing the air and
statements of mutual forgiveness may be enough. If corrective action is
required, provide encouragement throughout the conversation so the talks do not
go awry.
Whether you have a work at home business and are confronting a vendor or employee or are trying to
resolve an issue with a spouse, always honor the other person. Be respectful in
both your words and actions. People see right through false facades so do not
have one. Clear the air to remove negative stress without letting the ego get
involved. The result will be a freeing feeling that simply being right will
never provide.
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