Sunday, October 7, 2012

It Takes Just Seven Steps To Transform Confrontation To A Skill



There are many things that people avoid in life and confrontation is typically one of them. Few people enjoy dealing with even the smallest issues and many steer clear of any type of confrontation whatsoever. Though it may seem wise to avoid an altercation, unsolved problems can damage or destroy personal or professional relationships. Confrontation may be uncomfortable for most people but it is also necessary. By turning it into a skill, it can be used to your advantage.

The reason that most confrontational situations end badly is because the motives behind them are wrong. This leads the situation to be more harmful than helpful. The experience of past confrontations gone awry leads many people to fear future ones. Ironically, this can create an even more explosive situation because the conflict is allowed to fester for weeks, months, or even years. By mastering the skill of confrontation, anyone can turn the uncomfortable situation into a productive meeting.

Before confronting someone, recognize that the goals should be restoring the relationship and establishing a foundation for working together in the future. A confrontation should never consist of listing everything the other person has done wrong or smearing his or her name. Both parties usually have the same goals in their personal and professional relationships so keep these in mind throughout the conversation.

If you think you are afraid to confront someone about an issue, you know how that person is probably feeling about confronting you. Make a decision to forgive before beginning the conversation and start by stating that you do not have any anger. If the person being confronted is on the defensive from the start, the conversation will probably turn into a mutual attack, which never leads to a positive outcome.

Say something nice about the person to establish an encouraging atmosphere. Point out that a coworker is a valuable asset or a partner is a caring and contributing member of the household. Be honest and mention specific strengths that the person possesses. Do not put all the responsibility on this person for the conflict that arose. Own up to your part in the situation and request forgiveness for your role in making things go off track.

This part of the conversation is when things can get difficult. Discuss the conflict and request input regarding its resolution. Ask what you can do to make things better. In some cases, clearing the air and statements of mutual forgiveness may be enough. If corrective action is required, provide encouragement throughout the conversation so the talks do not go awry.

Whether you have a work at home business and are confronting a vendor or employee or are trying to resolve an issue with a spouse, always honor the other person. Be respectful in both your words and actions. People see right through false facades so do not have one. Clear the air to remove negative stress without letting the ego get involved. The result will be a freeing feeling that simply being right will never provide. 

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