Monday, March 25, 2013

You May Be a Barrier to the Success of Others

In a recent post on her website, Dani Johnson Secret Millionaire star and lifestyle coach recently discussed an interesting topic. She noted that sometimes we are the barriers to the change we want. Many of us know others who are not achieving their potential and we devote our lives to helping them. Unfortunately, we may not realize that we are the problem. Until we do, their situations will not improve and we may even jeopardize our relationships with them.

We do things for our own reasons and others cannot force us to live according to their rules. Each of us sees things in unique ways, causing us to react differently. Some people are stuck in a rut and feel comfortable there. Dani admits that she once fell into this category by allowing herself to remain homeless for 30 days before launching the work at home business that made her a millionaire. Some people settle for what they believe they deserve from life. They may not be happy about this, causing them to blame everyone but themselves for their situations.

Too often, we focus on disseminating advice from experts to others and spend little time worrying about ourselves. Dani recommends that instead of thinking about who else would benefit from this information, we should think about how we can utilize it. Nagging and other methods of convincing people to get motivated consume time and energy that is better spent on our own lives. As we channel our efforts toward techniques that provide results, we increase our likelihood of achieving success. In addition, we reduce the tension in our relationships because we are not always harping on others to do something.

Listening is an excellent way to spend our down time. By listening to friends and family members who are “stuck,” we learn more about their interests, strengths, and goals. We spend less time trying to tell others what we think would be best for them and more time discovering what they want from life. Everyone is motivated by something different and listening to others helps us determine what this is. We can use this information to provide support and encouragement that will motivate them to change their lives for the better.

People are happiest and most successful when they realize their own dreams not the dreams we have for them. We should use the advice of experts to better ourselves and then listen to learn what our acquaintances want from life. Some of that expert advice may be applicable to them and there is no better way to prove its effectiveness than to show others how it has worked for us.

By focusing on ourselves, we improve our relationships with others and reduce our stress levels. We worry only about things we can control and with tips from experts, we spend much less time worrying overall. The sooner we begin this approach, the better off we and everyone around us will be. Others may see our success and want to imitate it, no influence necessary. 

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